is an excellent book by Marshall Rosenberg
(isbn 978-1892005038). As usual I'm going to quote from a few pages:
Observing without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence.
NVC is a process language that discourages static generalizations; instead, evaluations are to be based on observations specific to time and context.
In the sentence, "I feel I didn't get a fair deal," the words I feel could be more accurately replaced with I think.
When the faculties are empty, then the whole being listens.
Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
I had read research indicating a lack of agreement among psychiatrists and psychologists regarding these terms. The reports concluded that diagnoses of patients in mental hospitals depended more upon the school the psychiatrists had attended than the characteristics of the patients themselves.
When we have a judgemental dialogue going on within, we become alienated from what we are needing and cannot then act to meet those needs. Depression is indicative of a state of alienation from our own needs.
Studies in labor-management negotiations demonstrate that the time required to reach conflict resolution is cut in half when each negotiator agrees, before responding, to accurately repeat what the previous speaker had said.
Don't just do something, stand there.
When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
