My sister Alix and I were chatting about work-related stupidity we'd imagined and experienced. Strict quotas on how much time you're allowed for going to the toilet for example. Naturally the time-allowed for no 2's would be longer than the time allowed for no 1s. But how would the managers police the quotas? The answer, we realized, was specialist plumbing. Take out the old copper pipes and put in clear perspex pipes instead. Plumb them through the managers office, at eye level. Purpose built hardware probes, available at reasonable cost, would measure the volume of shit. The probes would wirelessly connect to ShitLogger (tm) an app for monitoring the volume of shit against the quotas. To log the logs, as it were.