I was on a train recently and I tried to plug my macbook plug into the socket. Nope. The depth of the plug was too great. As it happened I had a 4 way adapter in my backpack so I was able to get power anyway!
is an excellent book (subtitled The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback) by Charles and Edith Seashore and Jerry Weinberg (isbn 0-924771-33-X).
As usual I'm going to quote from a few pages:
If you're not absolutely sure they want your feedback it's best not to offer it.
When the data and their model don't match, most people discard the data.
We structure our world so we will not receive feedback that threatens our view.
We don't even wait to ignore feedback, but actively take steps to prevent such feedback from ever happening in the first place.
We tend to learn only in new situations. In new contexts.
The more we try to control, the less influence we are likely to have.
Don't concentrate on giving feedback; concentrate on being congruent - responding to the other person, to yourself, and to the here-and-now situation.
The less investment you have in changing the other person, the greater the likelihood that each of you may grow.
Improving a relationship doesn't always mean making it closer.
I went to the Viking Ship Museum in Oslo a few weeks ago. As I arrived a group arrived on a bus. They were led round the museum by a man who talked about the exhibits and viking life in general. I quietly attached myself to the group and listened to what he had to say. It was really fascinating stuff. For example, at one point he mentioned that Norway has the highest incidence of multiple sclerosis in the world. And that the countries with very high incidence seem to be the countries the Vikings invaded!